“Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October days. “ – Author Unknown
In one week’s time, people will be dressing up in costumes for Halloween, the one day on the calendar you can be whoever or whatever you want to be. Whether it’s a super hero, a movie character, or a spooky creature, Halloween is one of the more celebrated holidays in this country.
To me, Halloween has sort of lost its luster. When I was a youngster I absolutely loved Halloween. It was always a tossup trying to figure out what I should dress up as, and the thought of getting free candy just by uttering the phrase “Trick-or-Treat” put a smile on my face and got me excited.
In first grade I dressed up as Superman, one of my favorite costumes:
It was always a night of fun for me. Yet these past few years I’ve found myself basically doing nothing on Oct. 31, merely sitting around alone watching old horror movies like “The Exorcist” and “Scream.”
This year I might change that, perhaps; maybe try to rally some friends together and relive the days of Halloween past by donning costumes. But onto the point of this entry:
If the Yankee players were to dress up for Halloween, what could they be?
Here are some suggestions…
CC Sabathia: Cleveland Brown
I could have just taken the high road and suggested CC Sabathia dress up as Fat Albert, but I figured I would change it up this time.
Put a yellow shirt and blue pants on the Yankee ace and he just might be able to pull it off. However, he might need to grow his mustache in a little more.
Hmm. Maybe Derek Jeter’s father, Dr. Charles Jeter, would be better off going as Cleveland…?
Derek could even go as Quagmire!
Mark Teixeira: Jared from Subway
I don’t know about anyone else but if you take the glasses off Jared, I think he sort of resembles Mark Teixeira.
The Yanks’ first baseman, who batted just .248 this year, might be able to get one of those “Free Subway for Life” cards (Happy Gilmore reference) if he goes as Jared this year. Maybe some meaty, cold cut sandwiches can help him swing the bat a little better and get that BA back up to a respectable .300 next year.
Scott Proctor: John Cena
I know I’ve made mention of this in the past but Scott Proctor, who went 0-3 with a 9.00 ERA for the Yankees this year, looks an awful lot like 12-time WWE Heavyweight Champion John Cena.
Proctor was basically a real-life loser this season. Therefore, if he wants to dress up like a real-life winner, he can be Cena for Halloween.
All he would need for the costume is one of Cena’s colorful shirts, a hat that reads “You Can’t See Me,” some wrist bands, and a pair of denim shorts.
Oh, and maybe some talent. That wouldn’t hurt.
A.J. Burnett: Beavis
A.J. Burnett pitched a decent Game Four in the American League Division Series vs. the Tigers, but only had a handful of acceptable starts during the regular season. With a record of 11-11 and an ERA of 5.15, he hasn’t exactly been what the Yankees were anticipating when they signed him to a lucrative contract worth $82.5 million prior to the 2009 season.
But we already knew that.
Perhaps he can help get the Yankee fans back on his side if he loosened up a little bit and dressed as Beavis from MTV’s…umm…hit show, “Beavis & Butthead.”
Not only do they bare a striking resemble to one another, their personalities are eerily identical. And if he doesn’t like the Beavis idea, he can always go as Dennis the Menace.
Andruw Jones: Dr. Dre
I’m not sure why, but Andruw Jones has always reminded me of rap star and hip-hop mogul Dr. Dre. When both of them were young, they were well-liked and everyone knew their name.
Dr. Dre was one of the more revered rappers in the world and most people knew Jones because of the power show he put on in the 1996 World Series as a member of the Atlanta Braves.
But that was in the 1990s. If you were to ask anyone back then who Dr. Dre was, undoubtedly they’d say, “Of course!” Nowadays if you ask about him, the answer would probably be more along the lines of, “Oh yeah. Whatever happened to him?”
Same applies to Jones.
And while we all know what Jones was doing this year – batting .247 for the Yankees and hitting 13 homers with 33 RBIs as a fourth outfielder – we may never know where Dr. Dre is.
I guess we all “forgot about Dre.” I believe that was one of his last hit singles; I can remember him releasing it before he vanished off my radar somewhere around 1998.
Alex Rodriguez: Anakin Skywalker
The Yankees’ superstar third baseman had a sad 2011 season, spending most of it on the disabled list. Hurt, he only managed to club 16 homers, bat .276, and drive in just 62 runs.
It was one of the worst years Alex Rodriguez has had since he started; in fact, it was the first time in his career he failed to hit 30 home runs since 1997.
To get rid of some of the bad feelings from this past season, I could picture A-Rod dressing as Anakin Skywalker from the Star Wars franchise. Not only are they practically each other’s doppelganger, but it fits so well.
For those who do not know, Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, one of the sworn leaders of the “Dark Side.” The Yankees have always been compared to the Star Wars “Evil Empire” so who better than Rodriguez – probably the most hated Yankee – to play the Jedi who turns his back on the force for the sake of evil?
It’s a perfect match and it makes sense.
Bartolo Colon: Hamburglar
I have an unsettling admission to make right now. One of the last years that I went out trick-or-treating on Halloween (probably in sixth or seventh grade) I was indeed the Hamburglar, one of the McDonald’s “McDonald-Land” characters.
Yep. Insert obligatory/witty Chicken McNugget joke here.
Bartolo Colon, just judging by his face, would be perfect for this costume. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if during the off-season he makes appearances at local McDonald’s in the Dominican Republic as the Hamburglar for extra money.
Also, judging by his weight, it looks as though he might be the real-life Hamburglar. He is very porky.
Robinson Cano: Steve Urkel
Back in the early 1990s ABC launched its Friday night lineup known as TGIF. Shows such as “Step by Step,” “Boy Meets World” and “Full House” all kept us laughing – albeit with cheesy, light-spirited, and family-oriented jokes.
One of my favorite programs to watch every Friday night was “Family Matters,” a show centered around the lives of the Winslow family and their pesky, annoying, nerdy neighbor, Steve Urkel.
Robinson Cano is no nerd: 28 home runs, 118 RBIs, and a .302 batting average is nothing to shake your head at. It certainly does not put him in the same category as Urkel.
However, if you take Cano’s face, put some coke bottle glasses on him, some suspenders, a nerdy shirt, and if he speaks with a high-pitched squeaky voice, you have the spitting image of the legendary doofus known as the Urk-Man.
Well, that about wraps it up folks. Hope you enjoyed my suggestions for the Yankees’ Halloween outfits.
If you happen to go out next week, be safe, and Happy Halloween.
Think back to the movie “Rocky V” for a second. I know it’s hard to, since it’s the worst sequel in the “Rocky” movie series. Boxing promoter George Washington Duke wants Rocky to fight his protégé Tommy “The Machine” Gunn. In the end Rocky takes him on in a street fight and mercilessly beats him.
“Rocky V” came out in 1990. Now fast forward to Saturday–it was almost the same principle.
The Los Angeles Dodgers, headed by former New York Yankee manager Joe Torre, decisively beat Joe Girardi’s Yanks 9-4. The Bronx Bombers had won on Friday by a count of 2-1, setting up the rubber game yesterday night.
Girardi served as a player and a coach under Torre, so in the words of Duke, it would be “Old lion vs. young lion; teacher vs. pupil” for the series win.
And what a rubber game it was.
The Dodgers seemingly had an easy series victory heading into the ninth inning, leading 6-2 with one out and the flame-throwing Jonathan Broxton on the mound. Who would have guessed the Yankees would play the role of comeback kids?
The Bombers scored four runs in the ninth frame to knot the game at six. A double by Robinson Cano to score Alex Rodriguez, a single by Chad Huffman to score Cano and Jorge Posada, and a fielder’s choice by Colin Curtis to score Curtis Granderson.
An improbable, but not impossible comeback–how many times have we seen this from the Yankees? (Whether they were managed by Torre or Girardi)
Cano later played the role of hero, belting a long two-run homer to left-center field in the top of the tenth, his 15th round-tripper of the season, to put the Yankees up 8-6.
From there they never looked back, taking the series from the Dodgers 2-1 and leaving So-Cal with a record of 47-28, still in first place in the AL East.
The pupil prevailed over the teacher this weekend, and it really came down to the pitching.
Broxton had thrown 19 pitches on Saturday and tossed an overwhelming amount of pitches during last night’s game. In fact, the Dodgers’ closer threw 48 pitches over the one inning he worked.
Don’t you think that’s enough? Closers are not supposed to be throwing 67 pitches over two days. They are not really built for that kind of work. Granted, the Yankees were extremely patient with Broxton; Posada and Curtis both worked 10-pitch at-bats, while Granderson worked an eight-pitch at-bat.
Among all three of those hitters, Broxton tossed 28 pitches.
But Torre refused to take him out. It even took him awhile to get another pitcher up and warming in the bullpen before Broxton went on to blow the lead. When he could have taken Broxton out for another pitcher, he left him in the game, only to lose it.
And this, my friends, is (why I think) the Yankees had to let Torre go.
Do not misunderstand me; I have nothing but respect for him. Every year he was Yankee manager he led his team to the playoffs. Four times out of those 12 (which would translate to 1/3 of his years as Yankee manager) he took them all the way to the World Series Title. Six out of those 12 seasons (or 1/2 of his years as Yankee manager) the Yankees were in the World Series.
From where the Yankees were (which in a lot of ways they were in a state of mediocrity from the early 1980s into the late ’90s) Torre brought them back. He turned the team around and the Yankees, under Torre, once again became THE YANKEES.
Torre’s resume and what he did at the helm of the Yankees speaks for itself. Four World Titles, six pennants…that’s just amazing. Most managers can only dream about what Torre did when he was the head man for the Bronx Bombers.
However some of his decisions regarding the bullpen were often criticized, especially towards the end of his run in 2006 and 2007. As far as that criticism goes, it was well-deserved. He over-used many of his bullpen pitchers and slowly they faded away; they lost their luster and were never the same pitchers again.
Consider former Yankee relief pitcher Scott Proctor. From 2004-05 with the Yankees (and under Torre) he only made 56 appearances out of the bullpen–which is respectable over a two-year span. But in 2006, Torre used him out of the ‘pen 83 times and he tossed a mind-numbing 102 1/3 innings.
For a reliever, that’s just absurd; it’s not even fair! And it was the same story in 2007.
Before the Yankees traded him to the Dodgers for Wilson Betemit in the middle of the ’07 season, Proctor was used 52 times with 54 1/3 innings already under his belt. He once again finished the season with 83 appearances and 86 1/3 innings pitched.
Again, it just wasn’t right for Torre to use him that many times.
Buster Olney, baseball insider and author of “The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty” mentioned in his book that one of Torre’s former pitchers (who chose to go unnamed) said, “I think Joe Torre is a great manager. He nearly ruined my arm, but he is a great manager.”
I have no doubt in my mind that Proctor was the pitcher who said this.
On the night of Oct. 8, 2007, Yankee Stadium burst into a loud chant of “Joe Torr-e (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!)” It was his final game as Yankee manager and this was the fans’ way of saying goodbye, as they knew this would probably be his last round as Yankee skipper.
I was watching the game at home and something was happening to me; I felt strange and sad. I also knew Torre’s days as head of the Yankees were numbered and as soon as the Yankees exited the first round of the playoffs he would probably be gone.
It was sad to me, because he was really the only Yankee manager I knew; when Buck Showalter was the manger before Torre, I was young and not nearly as big of a Yankee fan as I am now.
I remember texting my dad after the game was over, and I expressed my sadness about Torre. My dad’s response: “It doesn’t matter what the Yankees do. He is still the BEST manager in baseball!”
That text message almost made me cry–because at the time I believed it was true.
The Yankees offered Torre a small salary at the conclusion of ’07–$6 million for a year, plus an additional $million for every round of the playoffs he could make it through. If he could reach and win the World Series, he could potentially make $9 million.
The offer, to me, was insulting and disrespectful.
How could the Yankees, in their right minds, basically (in not so many words) say, “Well Mr. Torre, you haven’t won the title in a long time; seven years, in fact. Maybe the money will give you extra incentive to want to win it all again.”
In his first year as Yankee manager, Torre brought them a title. It had been 18 years since the Yankees had won a Championship. The New York newspapers even went out of their way to call him “Clueless Joe” when he was named skipper, thinking he had no idea what he was doing.
He certainly proved that he did know what he was doing when it came to management–at least up until the end of his tenure.
Apparently the Yankee organization looked past all that when they came up with the poor excuse for a deal. I still cannot believe they offered him that deal, but I also think the Yankees knew what they were doing; I think they wanted to make him that deal because they knew he wouldn’t accept it.
Basically, they were trying to move him out and they succeeded.
It seems now that the Yankees (in a way) have turned on Torre. There has been speculation about a “rift” between Torre and Brian Cashman, the Yankees’ General Manager. After all, Cashman is responsible for coming up with the deals and is really the main person in charge of negotiations, so the idea for Torre’s insulting deal could have been his brainchild.
I don’t think Torre’s book “The Yankee Years” helped at all, either.
In the book, Torre mentioned something about Rodriguez and how he and others called him “A-Fraud.” I never really heard Torre deny the claim or refute it in any way, so maybe he did say some unfavorable things about his superstar player.
As for Rodriguez: he didn’t care. When A-Rod was going through the “steroid saga” prior to the 2009 season, Torre’s comments in the book came up in questioning. Rodriguez simply stated, “I’m a good receiver, not a good ragger. When people rag on me, I take it. But I don’t like to rag on other people.”
Torre and Rodriguez hadn’t spoken until Sunday, when A-Rod approached his former manager during batting practice and talked with him. If you ask me, it was one of those, “Everyone has noticed we haven’t said anything to each other, so let’s just say something to each other to get them off our backs.”
It’s nothing Bill Belichick hasn’t done a million times in his life.
If the media hadn’t pointed it out, would Rodriguez have said anything to Torre at all? I’m not sure. I don’t really think it matters now, anyway. They acknowledged one another and now the press can stop talking about it.
All I can say now is that I have the utmost respect for Torre. I don’t think he makes the right decisions in terms of his bullpen, and last night was just another example of that. To leave Broxton in for that long was simply a bad move; it backfired on him, as it has several times when he was Yankee manager.
Yet I haven’t forgotten him; in my mind, he will always be a Yankee legend. No matter how bad his rift is with the organization, no matter what he said in his book, and no matter how far away he is, he will always be my favorite Yankee skipper.
But…I am sure glad we beat him this weekend. I love Torre, but I LOVE the Yankees.